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Showing posts from October, 2015

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- Idont know what to do. - I feel so done with life - I am just wondering what my life would be in the future. -Im blur af. - I really dont understand the points in life. - I may not be the person you wished i was. - I am just nothing that no one actually bothers to give a shit about. - I dont know why i care about opinions so much. - I dont know. - I suffer every day and night. - I cant sleep at night without having to cry. - I just feel like giving up on everything in life. - I dont think anyone understands me well enough. - I just wanna die.. - I cant take all this bullshits anymore. - Nobody gives a fk if im alive. - Im a burden. - Nobody knows i exist. - Im constantly hurt by all the bullshits that's happening to me. - I just wanna cry my hearts out. - I just wanna slash myself till i die.. Suicidal Thoughts.. Slashing, Punching the wall and many more..I DONT KNOW WHY IM STARTING IT AGAIN.. THOUGHTS ARE RUNNING THROUGH MY HEAD AS THOUGH EVERYTHING IS MY

Dreams

Sometimes i really wish that dreams will come true.   I longed to be someone carefree and happy throughout the days in life. But i guess this is just something that wouldnt happen..  I constantly think about how am i going to survive things that is happening concurrently. But i guess there's no use for that. I've tried and tried over so many times to just do things i right. But somehow it always ends up wrong. Im always feel low whenever i dont do the right stuff. I just dont know  If only dreams can come true, everything will be perfect. I wouldnt be here self harming and bringing fault to one another and burdening to them..  Well if only dreams will come thru

A Picture Tells A Thousand Words

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Just like what the picture says... To be honest, i really dont know what to do anymore. I saw someone that i havent met ever since i left primary school. When i saw him today, memories of me and him started flowing back into my mind. I remember vaguely what happened when i was still in primary school. This person used to be someone i didnt treasure while he/she was still around. I took him for granted. I thought he/she will stick with me throughout my entire life and even become best friend. However, during the later part of my primary school years. We drifted apart. We didnt talk nor go to recess together anymore. He/She used to help me fight the bullies that usually bullied me back then. I miss those moments where i knew that he/she would be there to help me tackle all this issues. I dont even know if i miss the person or just those memories... Something that broke my heart today was that he/she didnt remember me at all... Did i really change alot? or was i so hateful that he/s

Regrets

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Regretting the things i have done before. Every Night before i go to bed... I think about many things and one of the things that i have been very bothered was about the regrets i have for being such a bitch to hurt someone's feelings.. When we first met each other, i didn't think that you will be so important to me.. I still remember that we met during work when i was 14. I have been thinking about you for the past few nights. I dont know if i should text you and tell you. I have hurt both you and your close friends and have even caused you both to fight because of me... sigh... OVERTHINKING KILLS...

Blessed Birthday

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08th October 2015 My 17th Birthday Hello Everyone!!:D I am back with a new update on my 17th  birthday! :D To be very honest, i didnt plan to celebrate my birthday this year as i thought this wasn't worth to celebrate about. So, i stayed home the entire day all alone thinking about life and everything else. I was rather successful with my plan till about 830pm when someone texted me and asked where i was. Thats when something i didnt expect happened. That person told me to wait for him at the bus stop near my house. I waited for about 10-15mins. Then, a call came in.. I picked up and my cousin was over at the other side of the line. He told me that my friends came up to my house. Which i was dumbfounded for a moment or two. I didnt ask him who were they and hanged the call. I quickly text the person that told me to wait for him and rushed home. After about 5 mins, i received another call from the person and he realised that his plan failed. He was devastated and sad that th